a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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