I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
