He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
