dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
