Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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