No awkward lesbian experiences without me
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
