Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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