I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
ok first of all what the fuck
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
