I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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