it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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