are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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