lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
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someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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