i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
