my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
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Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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