is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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