shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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