I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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