He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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