apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
