Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
