are you so shy because you have an std?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
