I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize