Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Randomize
