I can tuck mytits in my pants
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize