But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
