): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
