Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
