We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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