cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
this boner is exhausting
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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