I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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