I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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