And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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