Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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