her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
