its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
