I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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