Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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