I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
