Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
A+ Viking dick
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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