I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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