What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
