Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i came on her dog
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
