lets start a swedish sibling band together
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
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judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
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She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?