I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Randomize
