it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
