In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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