Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): I've rolled joints bigger than that penis. http://tfl.nu/pgx0
  Replies (29) Good night (795) Bad night (4591)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix http://tfl.nu/3cn5
  Replies (11) Good night (659) Bad night (3631)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more http://tfl.nu/noxu
  Replies (39) Good night (1114) Bad night (5345)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown. (+44): before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN http://tfl.nu/72q0
  Replies (28) Good night (8641) Bad night (1363)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team. http://tfl.nu/53x1
  Replies (11) Good night (3099) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/v27u
  Replies (3) Good night (2804) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean http://tfl.nu/gpjf
  Replies (14) Good night (4075) Bad night (964)
• Favorite

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (320): I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early .... http://tfl.nu/6r9w
  Replies (12) Good night (2509) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (682): View more from Texas

  I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (682): I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery. http://tfl.nu/qxsn
  Replies (4) Good night (2034) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester http://tfl.nu/csr6
  Replies (13) Good night (1592) Bad night (523)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes http://tfl.nu/q993
  Replies (3) Good night (659) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college? http://tfl.nu/tyby
  Replies (6) Good night (1417) Bad night (420)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Why am I feeling up grandma?!

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Why am I feeling up grandma?! (312): I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text. http://tfl.nu/znfl
  Replies (2) Good night (1272) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (339): Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning. http://tfl.nu/1tmw
  Replies (0) Good night (279) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me. http://tfl.nu/gyap
  Replies (5) Good night (417) Bad night (192)

Randomize