Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.

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(419): The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song. http://tfl.nu/rv8e

Replies (38) Good night (9095) Bad night (1282)
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(315): View more from New York

You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.

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(315): You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you. http://tfl.nu/rrga

Replies (16) Good night (6327) Bad night (610)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous

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(204): She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous http://tfl.nu/ntwa

Replies (17) Good night (8917) Bad night (715)
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(408): View more from California

I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on

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(408): I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on http://tfl.nu/ydv9

Replies (7) Good night (4692) Bad night (980)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.

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(502): dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk. http://tfl.nu/y7ij

Replies (6) Good night (3166) Bad night (857)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.

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(770): Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this. http://tfl.nu/gsh2

Replies (3) Good night (1567) Bad night (731)
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(556): View more from

Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard

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(556): Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard http://tfl.nu/2l07

Replies (10) Good night (2083) Bad night (712)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.

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(617): he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes. http://tfl.nu/atub

Replies (9) Good night (549) Bad night (2489)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?

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(+44): You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman? http://tfl.nu/pxap

Replies (1) Good night (1017) Bad night (748)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.

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(+44): Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill. http://tfl.nu/mubs

Replies (6) Good night (935) Bad night (621)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.

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(218): It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited. http://tfl.nu/4qpj

Replies (17) Good night (2237) Bad night (577)
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(214): View more from Texas

I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay

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(214): I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay http://tfl.nu/b2gf

Replies (2) Good night (371) Bad night (678)
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(438): View more from Quebec

I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.

(1-438): View more from Quebec

God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.

(438): View more from Quebec

Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss

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(438): I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents. (1-438): God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol. (438): Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss http://tfl.nu/li35

Replies (2) Good night (807) Bad night (312)
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(703): View more from Virginia

That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black

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(703): That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black http://tfl.nu/kgbj

Replies (3) Good night (281) Bad night (438)
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(562): View more from California

That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel

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(562): That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel http://tfl.nu/pj6n

Replies (0) Good night (541) Bad night (169)

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