mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You left your phone here
Wait...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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