I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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