I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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