my vag is so smooth its legendary
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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