fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
