BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
