You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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