wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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