New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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