That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
