If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
