I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
