It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm really busy with my period
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