can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
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