Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
where are you?
Hypothermia
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
