Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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