my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize