good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
