proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
