i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
