okay pat passed out under dana's car
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
