Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize