I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
